Now that I have a blog, people in my life have been asking questions.
Usually those questions are “Why are you staring at my face?” or “Why is your hand on my ass?”, but now, they ask questions of a different kind.
(Just FYI, the first answer is either because you’re fucking beautiful and I want to imprint that face into my memory or because I’m wondering how the fuck you’ve made it so far in life looking like the spawn of a catfish and pile of elephant dung that’s been burnt and then stepped on. The answer that I give to the second one is usually “Dude, why is YOUR ass touching MY hand?”)
You see, not many people in my life know that I enjoy writing. In fact, I wanted to be a writer, a journalist, a blogger; just someone who worked with words and languages that could string together beautiful sentences and let his words fly over page after page, settling down in patterns and paragraphs that people would love to read. My love of writing started when I was in high school, thanks to my English teachers.
I started reading from a very early age and devoured books at a frantic pace. It was not unusual for me to borrow between 4 – 7 books a week and spend the majority of my time until the age of 12/13 balls deep in books. (Once the age of 13 is obtained, guys want to be balls deep in other things).
However, once I started high school, my English teachers showed me that creating my own written pieces would be where my true passion lies. I didn’t read as much, but my writing started to take off and they encouraged me to push myself, giving me extra tasks and writing do to constantly improve.
However, writing was never an option as a career due to pressures from certain sources in my life.
Until I decided to just ignore everyone else and focus on what I wanted to do, focus on my goals, my dreams, my aspirations.
Writing is a creative form like no other. I can string together random symbols and communicate my feelings in a way that I cannot speak out loud. I can create something that can make you laugh, cry, happy, sad, angry, confused and horny (though hopefully not all at the same time).
Writing is way for me to let out all the thoughts that fight for dominance in my head because my brain is constantly thinking and I cannot focus on something for long because after a few minutes its almost like BAM!!! I get a new idea and I need to jot down a few sentences so that I can string together proper words later but then as I write down those words BAM!!! I think of something related, but different to what I’m writing and then I have to stop to start writing something else and by now I’m flying between works, always in flux and never settling down.
So now I slow things down and finish one piece at a time. I have so many incomplete pieces stretching back the last 10 years that I know I’ll never run our of things to write about. I have novels, short stories, poems, blog posts, just pieces of things that need to be put together to form a bigger, beautiful picture.
I find my freedom in writing. I am not writing to impress anyone else or to live up to other people’s expectations. Rather, I write because I want to let my thoughts flow out and create, I want to leave a piece of soul out here. If my soul resonates with you, then that’s a bonus. Whether 1 person or 1 million people read these words is negligible. I can be satisfied that I wrote, I created, I published. If you find a connection in my words, if something I ever write resonates within you, then I guess that would make me even happier.
Starting to write more often like I did back in high school reminded me that we need to live for ourselves. Sometimes we spend too much time doing other things we really have no interest in.
My blog is a part of me, one of the rawest and unfiltered sides of me that I am willing to expose to the light, because no part of me should have to reside within the darkness. No part of anyone should have to be hidden because you feel that people will judge you. People will judge you regardless of what you do. The most important thing is to do it anyway. Writing makes me happy. It gives me purpose. It gives me freedom. It has helped me to live life to its fullest, doing everything I can to make life entertaining and memorable. Hopefully the people who read my pieces will find something in them that they can relate to and take a piece of me with them.
Find your passion. Find your spark. Find yourself.