I’m at that point in my life where I look at the people I went to high school with and I see three distinct groups:
Group 1: These are those people who are married/engaged/in a serious relationship, ready to start building a life with their significant other.
Group 2: These are the people already scaling the corporate ladder, in companies and jobs they are passionate about. They are the future leaders of industry; managers and entrepreneurs who are successful in their field even at this age.
Group 3: These are the people who somehow have somehow turned their dreams into a reality, whether it be in a job that lets them pursue their love of travelling, working 3 hour days yet earning 3 times my salary, or just moving from one adventure to the next.
Which group do I fall into?
Group 4: These are the people still wondering… What the fuck do I do with my life?
A part of me feels like I’m back in high school in my final year, deciding on my future. My friends all had goals and a path they were determined to walk no matter how rough. Me? I was still trying to decide what to do with my life, so I hastily made a decision just to keep the parents at bay. If I was going to be indecisive and figure my life out, I at least needed to pick something to do that I was relatively good at to keep me busy and earn me some money.
So I chose teaching.
Every day, I am thankful I chose that path, because it helped me develop into the person I am today because I was able to meet some fantastic people and go on some amazing adventures.
Every day, I regret that I chose that path, because it delayed the choice I needed to make and now I sit with this feeling of being lost.
How does one truly decide what to do with one’s life? How do we know we are doing the right thing, making the right choice?
You see, no matter how successful we are in whatever choice we made, we will always be looking around us to see the accomplishments of others and for some of us, it makes us question what we’ve been doing for the past few years.
Don’t get me wrong. I am glad that so many of friends are leading lives filled happiness.
But once I see other people with their lives together and whole, I ask myself… when will it be my turn?
You see, there are times when we can’t help but look at someone we know and wonder when we will have what they have.
When will I find the job I am meant for?
When will I find the person that I will spend the rest of my life with?
When will I get to go on an adventure?
When will I be truly happy with myself?
The answer to all those questions is really simple.
The time will come… when it comes.
I know, I know. Pretty cliche. However, it’s true. Everybody’s lives are on different paths and some of us reach certain checkpoints before others. The waiting is the difficult part. We are so quick to look at something we don’t have that we cannot at times appreciate the blessings that we do have.
Don’t let what other people have make you regret the choices that you have made. Whether you made a choice willingly or were pushed into it, the fact of the matter is YOU picked this path no matter the circumstances surrounding it. You now need to live with this choice and own it. Take responsibility for it and instead of looking outward and around you, look inside you. If your choice was more of an ultimatum, then you still need to use that latent talent inside you and break free of whatever chains are holding you down.
Your time will come when it’s right. Sure, you may not have the dream job, the dream partner, or the dream life, but nothing says that it’s going to be that way forever. You determine how far you are going to go and if you want something badly enough, it’s up to you to make sure you get it.
‘Happiness is a choice.’ Yes, there are times when you will never be happy, but this saying isn’t about those times. This to remind us that when we feel bleak because things are not going our way, that there is so much more good in our lives that we can fall back on to escape this cloud of darkness. Don’t throw yourself a pity party. Don’t focus on the 2 negative issues when there are 8 positive ones surrounding it.
‘Life is simple. You make choices and don’t look back.’ When we make a choice, we choose to live with consequences and in some cases, regret. We do not make choices easily. But they need to be made, and we are strong enough to weather whatever storm may come
While it pains me to not know where I want to go, I know that just taking a step somewhere is better than doing nothing. So I will carry on wondering in the dark, scared that I might not be able to find the path again, but happy that at the very least, I am moving somewhere, even if I don’t know where that may be.